I can't believe it.....

I have let another plethera of months go by since I wrote on here....

Alot of things happen in so little time...

I have a Master's Degree now...

I broke up with the infamous Jairo- gee, letting go of being enamored with someone since you were 16 is not that easy...

But, I am very happy to have another person in my life, one who loves me very much and shows it to me the best he can...It is so nice to have someone you feel like you can talk about anything with and know they will stick right there with you...

I am trying to transition into working full-time, hopefully on the other end of the educational spectrum, and start teaching...

and I am thinking and praying... a lot ... I want to make good decisions as I start walking the path of the rest of my life...ones that I can look back on and say, yeah, I am so glad I did that.......it's been a joy.

It's too late... again.

Yes, lateness has been the them of these past few weeks. I don't know what is going on. I am so tired when I get off work, get ready and all settled down for sleeping time...then I can't sleep. Last night, I read a whole book. Finished at 4:30 am, and still couldn't sleep for another hour. I have had not rest today, no nap, Got up after a little "nap" this morning to go to church, church meeting and then more work, watched a movie, talked to my sister...and still awake. Something must be bothering me... I know I am a little wound up/nervous/excited about school... But, seriously, I have been going to school for 6 years now...this anxious, weird first day of school hyperness needs to stop. Maybe it is because the end is near, in sight at least, and I'm having to make some decisions... oh, well.

I am glad tomorrow is Monday, Jairo will be back to work- I know is is sad to be so excited that someones vacation is ending...but that's the best and most frequent and reliable mode of communication we have- his work e-mail. yay, on less thing to pay for in the ever expensive LDR...

Gee, sometimes I just want the off button to thinking and the off button to "emotional over-drive"...maybe I could fall asleep faster then...

Of course just saying, " goodnight, I love you" would help too...or so my naive imagination leads me to believe.

It was a nice christmas...

So it's really late...

..and I thought that I was going to get to this sooner, but I didn't. I finally got home about 12:30 a.m. after a "quick stop at Wal-mart when I got off of work. Thank God, my back doesn't hurt like it did on Saturday when I got off work...but my feet are sore. It seems like if it is not one thing it's the other. The good thing about work tonight was that I did get one credit application- it's part of this retail bussiness-trying and get people to apply for the store card. Anyway after like 3 weeks of working there I finally, finally get one. Whew. I am good at getting people to sign up for our rewards card - like 5 people signed up today with me- and lots donated money to St. Judes.

So, the reason I had to go to Wal-mart at midnight was becase my sister wanted me to get light bulbs...ok first part of irony, and then of course when I get home she is ASLEEP. hahaha Not to mention that while driving on the way home " I've got a pocketful of sunshine" was playing on the radio. Wow. I thought it was pretty hilarious. Maybe the station needs a new play list- or maybe not.

I am thinking about babies alot lately. I want one. lol. Probably, just because all my friends are have or will have one ( or mre). Just kidding......

I need to sleep........

It's been too long...

I miss so many things...

I miss Jairo, that is so far away

I miss my friends...

I miss my old room...

I miss feeling relaxed...

I miss feeling really good at my job...

I miss being a little kid...

I miss blogging...

And at the moment, blogging is the only thing that I can do to fix any of those, save feeling relaxed. Blogging is relaxing. Man, I have missed just having time to write about life. I guess I just didn't feel like writing more than I had to these past few semesters. I suppose that being a full time master's student and working does tend to make one a little weary.

But, I think that I need to start this process back up, because I am leaving to much stuff unsaid, unconsidared, untought, and unrecorded. And it's just time for that to stop.

I guess that part of the reason that is driving my motivation to persavere with my blog again is that it is another way of me not only learning about myslef but letting Jairo learn more about me. Let's face it, most of us blog differently than we e-mail- ok, well at least I do. I don't feel obligated in a post to have a driven purpose and can allow myself to ramble a bit if need be... And coming up on two years of a LDR, well, I have to make sure that I am communitating and being as open as I can, especially when the phone calls and face to face visits do not often occur.

Tonight, I am trying to think of the things for my pending visit to Jairo...no exact date yet... It's just so overwhelming to think of all the things we need to have a face to face talk about and pin down some specifics about general things we have talked about for the future, which is not so far off now... I only have one semester left before I graduate and we are talking about getting married when he graduates which is not that long after I do.

And I barely know his family...and we will probably live closer to them...and I will be speanding a lot of tiem with them when I visit him next. wow... I am so scared my Spanish will turn to mush... it's so weird the way I feel...just indescrible..excited nervous apprehension...

And, It's days like this during the Christmas season that just get to me... I just want him to be here, with me. I don't want cry at every little thing, but I feel like it sometimes- it's just a weird kind of lonely feeling. I want to make it better and I can't.